Why I sometimes think being single is good...
I know its contradictory when I say this now that I'm in a relationship. Its just a thought that sometimes flashes into my head. Yes single means freedom and not having to be afraid of making the other party angry or upset...which means we dun have to be accountable for our actions. We live our lives as we want to, we make our own decisions, we're responsible for our own actions. Perhaps we seldom get very sad over matters of the heart? Its might be an emotional burden to some...
A relationship is so hard to maintain. Everyone will agree with me. It takes a level of maturity to be with someone and be part of their lives. Its not easy for two person to come together and try to live with and understand how each other functions...becasue everyone is so different in so many aspects of our lives. Being in a relationship means you have to auto-correct yourselves to accomodate to each other's character...with a 'high' level of tolerance and patience, and the belief you have in him/her...helping each other to become a better person.
What i feel, a good relationship requires a lot of patience, love and care, gentleness, communication, and constant effort to spice things up. Things can become very stagnant for a long term rel...if both parties are busy with their stuff and fail to see the importance of doing 'little things' to make each other happy. For the guy, making your girl feel she's special is perhaps the most important thing u can do. Being there for her when she needs you, and little surprises makes her feel special and she knows that you got make effort to think of ways to make her happy. Its important to know that you dun have to buy big and expensive things for her...just a small book mark, a card (e-card also can!) one stalk of flower, a packet of chocolate, da-bao breakfast or cookup something for her...will surely make her day! Sad to say...you've got to do this consistently. In 'Men are from Mars, women are from venus", it has accurately described that when a guy says 'I love you' to his girl today, maybe next few days you've got to say it again, becasue women need constant reassurance! I feel its not about reassurance...but its about knowing how to romance your partner by the little things u do.
Enough about guys, so what can the girls do to maintain the relationship? number one! Maintain yourself? haha...I feel quite strongly about this, remain attarctive and not degrade...most importantly, be yourself. Throughout my rel, sometimes I lose myself, and I lose some of my strong character like my independence and sometimes...confidence. I thought that a rel is supposed to build each other up in character....but sometimes its not the case. But i'm glad I found myself back now...with the rel still intact after 3 years plus... We've got to learn to support our guy in whatever he does, give them time of their own, trust them, and let them know you appreciate them and the things they do for you..but oh well, different guys got different characters.
But for many rel...feelings fade and everything becomes very stagnant. Some ppl stay tog becasue they still feel for each other and believe that they've got a future tog...but some ppl stay tog becasue they're too used to each other...they say its hard to imagine life without the other. I dunno if this is good or bad, but staying tog becasue of familiarity can be very confusing...becasue you are not sure if you still have feelings for him/her. I think its also becasue humans like to try new stuff, like fresh experiences and excitement. The grass is always greener on the other side....that's why some rel cannot withstand a third party coming in.
Some ppl say when a couple goes thru thick and thin tog...they will be strengthened and surely can live tog forever happily ever after...but when a couple goes thru too much tog, if there're too many unhappy memories, it might do more harm than good. too many hurts and scars might just dampen their feelings over time...some ppl cannot forget the past and sometimes it haunts them...some ppl are afraid that certain things might happen again...some ppl might become paranoid...ultimately, the damage is done. At this point of time...can the couple still see a future is a hard question. Usually, its gotta take lots of time to regain the confidence and believe and hope that they once had.
In anyway, the most important thing is that we're happy. Single or attached...always ask yourslf this simple question...Am I Happy? Its not always easy to define happiness...but know what you want in the future, make the decision..and never regret it. That's what some of my frens say....
A relationship is so hard to maintain. Everyone will agree with me. It takes a level of maturity to be with someone and be part of their lives. Its not easy for two person to come together and try to live with and understand how each other functions...becasue everyone is so different in so many aspects of our lives. Being in a relationship means you have to auto-correct yourselves to accomodate to each other's character...with a 'high' level of tolerance and patience, and the belief you have in him/her...helping each other to become a better person.
What i feel, a good relationship requires a lot of patience, love and care, gentleness, communication, and constant effort to spice things up. Things can become very stagnant for a long term rel...if both parties are busy with their stuff and fail to see the importance of doing 'little things' to make each other happy. For the guy, making your girl feel she's special is perhaps the most important thing u can do. Being there for her when she needs you, and little surprises makes her feel special and she knows that you got make effort to think of ways to make her happy. Its important to know that you dun have to buy big and expensive things for her...just a small book mark, a card (e-card also can!) one stalk of flower, a packet of chocolate, da-bao breakfast or cookup something for her...will surely make her day! Sad to say...you've got to do this consistently. In 'Men are from Mars, women are from venus", it has accurately described that when a guy says 'I love you' to his girl today, maybe next few days you've got to say it again, becasue women need constant reassurance! I feel its not about reassurance...but its about knowing how to romance your partner by the little things u do.
Enough about guys, so what can the girls do to maintain the relationship? number one! Maintain yourself? haha...I feel quite strongly about this, remain attarctive and not degrade...most importantly, be yourself. Throughout my rel, sometimes I lose myself, and I lose some of my strong character like my independence and sometimes...confidence. I thought that a rel is supposed to build each other up in character....but sometimes its not the case. But i'm glad I found myself back now...with the rel still intact after 3 years plus... We've got to learn to support our guy in whatever he does, give them time of their own, trust them, and let them know you appreciate them and the things they do for you..but oh well, different guys got different characters.
But for many rel...feelings fade and everything becomes very stagnant. Some ppl stay tog becasue they still feel for each other and believe that they've got a future tog...but some ppl stay tog becasue they're too used to each other...they say its hard to imagine life without the other. I dunno if this is good or bad, but staying tog becasue of familiarity can be very confusing...becasue you are not sure if you still have feelings for him/her. I think its also becasue humans like to try new stuff, like fresh experiences and excitement. The grass is always greener on the other side....that's why some rel cannot withstand a third party coming in.
Some ppl say when a couple goes thru thick and thin tog...they will be strengthened and surely can live tog forever happily ever after...but when a couple goes thru too much tog, if there're too many unhappy memories, it might do more harm than good. too many hurts and scars might just dampen their feelings over time...some ppl cannot forget the past and sometimes it haunts them...some ppl are afraid that certain things might happen again...some ppl might become paranoid...ultimately, the damage is done. At this point of time...can the couple still see a future is a hard question. Usually, its gotta take lots of time to regain the confidence and believe and hope that they once had.
In anyway, the most important thing is that we're happy. Single or attached...always ask yourslf this simple question...Am I Happy? Its not always easy to define happiness...but know what you want in the future, make the decision..and never regret it. That's what some of my frens say....
posted by God's Beloved at 12:27 AM
1 Comments:
just checking to c if u are ok.. =)
anything, can just buzzme, k? *HUGS*
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